Yeah…that title got your attention ladies, didn’t it? I know I’m not the only one who despises the car line and all that it stands for. The car line is a metaphor for so much that is wrong in this world. The car line brings out the worst in strung out moms. The car line is cutthroat. The car line tests our patience to the max. The car line is competitive. I mean, seriously, how did we all get so ridiculously overdriven that we have to be aggressive in the CAR LINE of all places?? Let me be clear, I am as tightly wound as they come. I am beyond being ashamed to admit that. The car line totally stresses me out. In my back seat, I usually have a cranky 3 year old who is 30 minutes overdue for a nap and letting it be known (loudly) that she is 30 minutes overdue for said nap. I want to get to the front of that car line just as much as the next chick. And it makes me irate when I have been sitting, dutifully and timely I might add, in the car line for a full 15 minutes before school lets out when some overzealous mom who has been there for 30 seconds, cuts in front of me in the Line of Torture. I have to put forth great effort not to expose my car line rage. But here’s an idea folks: let’s all take ourselves back a couple decades to our drivers education days (Coach Sweeney and Coach Owen, your driving instruction lives on) and recall the basic rules of a four way stop. If you arrive at the intersection first, you may proceed first. Simple as that. Therefore, if there is a three-way entrance (such as there is at our school) you TAKE TURNS. Why is that such a hard concept ladies?!? You do realize that these are elementary school children we are picking up, right? We’ve been drilling them on taking turns for their entire lives. Let’s not be hypocritical. Let’s not be so ambitious about our spot in the line as to forget our basic manners. Forget about driving manuals; it’s called common sense people. If we were to put the kids we are picking up in the driver’s seat, dollars to donuts, they’d have a nice rhythm going. You know why? BECAUSE WE TAUGHT THEM TO TAKE TURNS. For crying out loud….
So in a nutshell, I would like to ask that we please not elevate the car line to the absolutely insane level of trying to have the best and most competitive reader, math fact memorizer, multiple language speaker, soccer player, instrument performer, cheerleader, singer, dancer, karate chopper or any other thing into which we are aggressively pushing our kids. Is nothing sacred? There is no scholarship or Olympic medal for being the first kid picked up in first grade. Take a pill.